Emptiness Inside
by Caz Malfoy
Summary: Vampire Ianto: When our thoughts are so numb and our feelings unsure. We all have emptiness inside, we all have answers to find...


**Title:** Emptiness Inside  
**Fandom:** Torchwood  
**Pairing:** Jack/Ianto  
**Rating:** FRT  
**Summary:** _When our thoughts are so numb and our feelings unsure. We all have emptiness inside, we all have answers to find..._  
**Author's note:** This is part of my Vampire Ianto 'verse. I owe the title, summary and inspiration to Welcome to the Family by Avenged Sevenfold. I have paid my tribute to them in this - see if you can spot all five.

x

Ianto stomped through the area, kicking at the various pieces of debris scattered around his feet. There was a scowl etched on his face that he knew had been a permanent fixture for weeks. He growled when a rat had the audacity to peak out from behind a wall to his left, no doubt curious to see who was disturbing the peace and quiet. As soon as the rodent saw Ianto's fangs, it immediately backed off and scarpered back into the relative safety of the undergrowth, leaving Ianto alone with the silence.

Chuckling darkly to himself, Ianto shook his head and continued walking through the cemetery, pausing to kick at several empty beer bottles and crushed cans that littered the disused area.

It had been… Ianto didn't even know how long it had been since he had visited the grave he was currently looking for. He remembered showing the stone to Jack not long after the younger vampire had been turned, but couldn't recall stepping foot beyond the sinister gates that blocked the cemetery off from the outside world since then.

Clearly, he wasn't the only one who hadn't been in the cemetery for almost a century. As Ianto glanced around him on his way through the undergrowth, he began wondering how long it had been since _anyone _had visited one of the graves there. Almost all of them were dirty, covered in moss or – in some instances – completely broken.

The stone he was looking for sat at the back of the cemetery, just before it reached the cliff edge. It was only when he was less than twenty steps away from it that he slowed his pace and began to doubt whether he should be there or not.

Shaking his head and silently berating himself for being a coward, Ianto moved closer to the stone and scowled when he saw that it was exactly the same as the others surrounding it. Heaving a sigh, he hitched up his long coat and crouched down in front of the headstone. With one leather-gloved hand, he reached out and brushed the moss and dirt from the stone, slowly revealing the words 'Henry James Fitzgerald'.

The stab he felt through his chest at the sight of the dates didn't surprised Ianto in the slightest. Even though they were pretty certain Jack was the reincarnated version of Ianto's past lover, it still ached to talk about Henry and Ianto generally changed the subject when he was mentioned.

He remembered vividly the day that he had been turned and returning to the cemetery; that had been the day he had sworn to wreak vengeance on the monster who taken the love of his life from him. Unfortunately, he had never fulfilled his promise and the man who killed Henry had slipped into the shadows and escaped the Welshman's wrath.

Ianto jumped in surprise when he felt a hand land on his shoulders. He hissed, turning around and baring his fangs at his attacker. "Christ, Jack," he muttered upon seeing his partner standing before him. "I could have ripped your throat out."

Jack shrugged his shoulders and stepped around Ianto, glancing down at the stone that sat at their feet. "I wondered where you'd gotten to," he murmured, stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking up at his lover.

"How did you figure it out?"

"Process of elimination," Jack answered with a slight smirk on his face. "Not to mention that the Doctor told me today would have been Henry's birthday."

Ianto's face darkened. "I'm going to kill him," he muttered through his teeth. "He needs to mind his own god-damned business for a change."

He felt a hand on his shoulder as Jack turned him around so they were face to face. "Why didn't you say anything?" the former RAF Captain asked, looking into his partner's eyes. "I would have come with you if I had known where you were planning on coming."

"No offence, Jack, but this is one thing I needed to do by myself," Ianto answered, his voice barely more than a whisper as his eyes flickered down to the headstone before looking back up at Jack. "It's been hundreds of years since I lost him and I…" He sighed and shook his head. "It hurts more than you could ever understand."

Jack's eyes narrowed and he took a step back, putting a little distance between them. "I know you miss him. I respect that I will never have all of your heart no matter how much we think Henry was reincarnated as me, but if you _ever _suggest that I don't know what it feels like to lose someone important to me, you will have none of my heart. Got it?"

Ianto swallowed and took a step forward, frowning when Jack automatically took a step back to put more distance between the two of them. "Jack, I didn't mean…"

"Yes you did," Jack growled through his teeth. "Lie to me all you want, Ianto; but don't patronise me. Everyone loses people they love throughout their lives," he said. "Yes, it feels like you can't move on and you feel like you haven't got anyone to talk to about how numb you're feeling. But at the end of the day, you're not the only person suffering."

Jack took another step back. "My girlfriend was killed just before I enlisted in the war," he stated, sending a jolt of surprise through Ianto; he had never known that about his partner. "I never told you because it's in the past and no amount of talking is going to bring her back. Just thinking about her hurts so much I can't describe, but I haven't let myself wallow in grief for the past century and a half over something I couldn't control."

Ianto remained silent, not knowing what he could say in response to Jack's tirade. Instead of speaking again, Jack took a step forward, closing the distance between them and once more cupping Ianto's cheek with his hand. "Mourn all you want, Ianto. But it's been centuries and I think it's time you stopped letting memories of the past invade into the present." He pressed a soft kiss against Ianto's lips and moved away once more. "I'll see you at home."

Rather than chase after Jack, Ianto simply stood where he was and watched the other man make his way through the treacherous debris that littered the cemetery. The gates squeaked loudly as Jack passed through them, but Ianto hardly heard the sound over what sounded like a ghostly chuckle coming from somewhere to his right.

He didn't know if he was imaging the sound or not, but when he turned around and there was no one there, he realised whose laugh he had heard. "Ganging up on me with yourself is low, Henry," he muttered through clenched teeth.

He remained in the cemetery for another ten minutes, silently standing watch over the stone, before he whispered his goodbyes in Welsh and stood to follow Jack. The other man was right; he really did need to let go of the past and move on as best as he could.

The End


End file.
